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Monday, July 27, 2009

Dammit Momma! Turn my cell back on! (True Blood recap)

True Blood 2.06: Hard Hearted Hannah

It’s the roaring 20s and Bill and Lorena are vamping it up old-school style. “F*k Prohibition!” is what I say! I guess back in the day Bill wasn’t so sensitive to human emotions and wasn’t sold on the whole mainstreaming concept yet. Watch out ladies, this one’s a biter!

Sorry Sam, your love life sucks worse than Terry’s. Daphne teaches us there’s more than meets the eye (even for pig shifters) and lures Sam to MaryAnne’s hog heaven orgy festival. Everyone is doing 30-ways of nasty and Tara and scrambled Eggs just got home in time. Daphne says it’s the end of the road Sam and I happen to think this is an excellent time to fly.. as in shift into a bird Sam! Fly like the wind!

Lafeyette is back to business at Merlotte’s, Pam is offering employment opportunities turning his old tricks, V! Lafeyette ain’t playin. Terry tells Andy he’s not the same sheriff he was at Memaw’s and Papaws… ah.. isn’t that precious!

Meanwhile, back in Dallas. There’s all sorts of fang-tastic stuff happening, starting with Eric likes his donors kinky! Lorena’s in town sporting vintage bling. Bill’s not that thrilled to see his old tramp, as opposed to Jessica who is tickled pink… err white, to see that Hoyt made a road trip! Yippee!

Sookie and Hugo take a roadtrip themselves, to the Fellowship of the Sun compound. The compound sports a church, dorms, bunker and, thanks to Jason & Luke a “Meet the Sun” burn-a-vamp-in-flames alter! Folks this makes for a great tourism brochure! While Jason and Luke sing camp songs, Sookie and Hugo make wedding plans. Steve Newlin gives the grand tour with a grand finale trip to his daddy’s tomb. That Steve! He’s such a character! Sarah doesn’t think Sookie would like the dark, damp basement. Me neither, my hair always frizzes with that kind of humidity. Steve insists and shoves Sookie down the steps. Why is Hugo here? Dude can’t even protect a girl.

Sarah doesn’t like the “c” word, you know, the one that rhymes with bundt. But we’re not talking cakes here honey. She leans on Jason, because God, its His will.. you know.. God is all about adultery and live and let live, especially in church!

Next up, Bill sharpen stakes for Sookie, Eric puts the smack down on the Dallas vamps and Newlin is onto Jason’s shenanigans.

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